Solid State

The union of music and sports is often imperfect. And in some cases, it is downright ugly. (See: Every Super Bowl halftime show ever, any NBA player turned rapper, and every time I've so much as whispered "Red Sox" on this very blog.)

Part of the issue is that the fundamental cores of each pursuit are diametrically opposed. On a large scale, yes, they are both essentially forms of entertainment. But music is — ideally, at least — rooted in some degree of artistic expression, of intellectual or emotional creation. Conversely, sports are designed around competition, proving physical superiority at the expense of an opponent. 

Combined with a host of other social and cultural roadblocks, meshing sports and music presents a unique, and often insurmountable challenge. Aside from montages in sports movies and the occasional battle of the bands, they just don't fit. But that doesn't mean it's not fun to try.

With March Madness soon to get under way, ESPN Radio host Colin Cowherd has applied the college basketball tourney's bracket system to rock and roll, in an attempt to decide just who is the greatest rock band of all time. It's totally silly. However, while not without flaws, it's actually pretty entertaining.

For the non-sports inclined, here's the gist. 64 prominent bands, roughly spanning the history of rock, are separated into four groups — or, in NCAA tourney lingo, "regions." The bands in each grouping are ranked, 1-16, and then pitted against one another, highest seeds vs. lowest seeds. Winners are determined by fan voting, with the victorious groups moving on to the second round, then a "Sweet 16," "Elite 8," "Final 4" (consisting of the overall winners from each region) and eventually, a championship match.

The highest seeds are rock icons — think the Beatles, the Stones, etc. The mid-to-lower seeds are well known, commerically successful bands that, while perhaps not legendary, have (mostly) left some kind of significant imprint on popular music over the last 50 years. Particularly given the target audience — sports fans first, rock fans second — ESPN did a decent job of selecting and ranking bands. I would have likely come up with a slightly different group. (311 and Nickelback made the tourney and the Beach Boys didn't? U2 as a 1-seed? Seriously?) But whatever. Its close enough for jazz. Or for rock on a sports site.

The matchups between top seeds and bottom seeds are pretty much obvious blowouts — the Stones vs. Blink 182, Zep vs. Creed, etc. Where things get interesting are the middle brackets. Just like in the real tournament, the best chances for upsets are found in the 5-12, 6-11, 7-10 range, where the gap in talent, or at least rock iconography is narrower. Here we find some interesting hypothetical debates. For instance:

Seattle regional: 8-seed Motley Crue vs. 9-seed Weezer.

Based solely on personal taste, I'd vote Weezer 99 out of 100 times — the one exception being if I'm drunk at a bowling alley. But taking their careers as a whole into account, the Crue might actually have an edge. Weezer made two-and-half great albums, and a slew of dreck since. But do two transcendant records (The Blue Album, Pinkerton) beat the Crue's more consistent, but never particularly "great" output? Hard to say. Ultimately, it comes down to which is less wussy: Buddy Holly glasses and cardigans vs. feathered hair and tights. 

London regional: 6-seed Red Hot Chili Peppers vs. 11-seed Black Sabbath

On the surface, it looks like someone should be shot, or at least fired for this seeding. Boil it down, and we're essentially talking Ozzy (OK, and Ronnie James Dio) vs. Anthony Kiedis. It's Ozzy and Dio, and it's not close. But again, taking the scope of each band's career into account, the Chili Peppers are still relevant — at least where modern commerical rock is concerned — and have been through three decades. And it would be a mistake to overlook the contributions of Flea here. Meanwhile, Ozzy is making 4G commericals with Justin Bieber. Still, we're talking about Sabbath, one of the most important metal bands in history. This game is reasonably close in the first half. Then Sabbath pulls away in the second when Ozzy alley-oops Kiedis' severed head on a nice feed from Geezer Butler.

Cleveland regional: 6-seed Bob Marley & the Wailers vs. 11-seed the Beastie Boys 

Probably my favorite matchup, and one I really struggled with. But it calls into question how we define greatness. Marley is an icon, arguably more synonymous with his genre than any other artist, in any genre in history. On the other hand, I personally just prefer listening to the Beastie Boys. It may sound like blasphemy, but you can make a case that the quality and, perhaps more importantly, the sheer volume of the Beasties' contributions to pop music cumulatively approach those of Marley. At the very least, it isn't as lopsided a match as it might initially seem. Still, much like you wouldn't bet against Jordan or Bird in a big game, you gotta go with the legend. That's Marley.

Cleveland regional: 5-seed Phish vs. 10-seed the Ramones 

Another interesting debate, especially 'round here. I voted for the Ramones, but it wasn't as easy a decision as regular readers probably assume. Phish, no question, are a historically great band. But then, so are the Ramones. The tie-breaker for me wasn't personal preference, but whose historical significance was greater. Phish elevated the game, but will always be viewed as Clyde Drexler to the Dead's Jordan. The Ramones changed the game forever, altering the landscape of rock in way Phish, wile probably more "successful," never did. To hack the basketball metaphor even further, the Ramones would be like Dr. J, a revolutionary player who changed people's perceptions of how basketball could be played. Plus, in a sporting situation, I'll take aggressive vices like booze, coke and cigarettes over weed and hallucinogens any day.

I could go on with stuff for hours. But maybe I should cut to the chase and let y'all decide for yourselves. Here's the link. Feel free to debate in the comments. And go Def Leppard!

On the heels of last week's post suggesting song placement in TV commercials is supplanting radio play as the way new bands are broken to mass audiences, this spot featuring local songwriter Maryse Smith singing the Beatles' "Hello Goodbye" for a Telecom Italia commercial comes at a weirdly appropriate time. If my theory holds true, clearly Smith is about to be HUGE in Europe.

How'd it happen? Apparently, Guster's Ryan MIller, who does this sorta thing in his free time, called Higher Ground's Alex Crothers looking for suggestions when he discovered TI was searching for a female vocalist for the spot. Crothers mentioned Smith, who promptly recorded a version with Miller, and bada bing bada boom, Maryse Smith is an Italian superstar. She even beat out an actual Italian band for the honor. Neat. 

Here's the commercial. And complementi, Maryse!

There's a theory circulating among culture pundit that the way bands become commercially successful these days is no longer via radio play or touring, but ad placements. There's some truth to the idea. Turn on the tube and wait for a commercial break, and you're bound to hear a hot new indie band or two being used to plug a Kia or Target superstore. In fact, music from every act nominated for a Grammy in the "Best Alternative Rock Album" category appeared in a commercial hawking something in 2010. 

Typically, ad folks will pull just a catchy tune from a band's catalog to suit their Don Draper-esque needs. But what if companies commissioned bands specifically to write, or rework an existing jingle?

Coffee giant Folgers recently put out a call for musicians to rework their well-known jingle for a chance at $25K and an appearance in a Folgers commercial. Rutland indie-folk outfit Split Tongue Crow answered the bell. Here's their entry:

In my column last week, I left you with a riddle: "What is red and white — like really, really white — has 16 arms and loves you?"

This week, I promised I would share the answer here on the blog today, as revealing said answer in print would violate the only real rule my eds have ever given me: not writing about projects with which I am involved … in the paper. Due to the wonders of Facebook, and the general closeness of life in a small community like Burlington, this almost feels anti-climactic. It seems there's already a decent buzz around the event in question. But a promise is a promise. So without further ado …

Q: What is red and white, has 16 arms and loves you?

A: The Ginger Snaps.

(smattering of applause and confused murmuring)

For more on this developing story, let's bust out an old-school FAQ, shall we?

Q: Um, OK. So, who, or what the hell are the Ginger Snaps?

A: So glad you asked! The Ginger Snaps are VTs finest/only all-redhead all-star band. They're playing their one and only show this Monday, Valentine's Day, at Club Metronome with Kyle the Rider and the Human Canvas.

Q: Wait … really?

A: Yes.

Q: All redheads? Are there really enough of you to make up a whole band? 

A: And then some. Though finding a drummer proved tricky.

Q: So, if you're involved, does that mean we've drastically lowered the bar on just what exactly qualifies as an "all-star"?

A: Probably. I'm undoubtedly the weakest link. But the only reason I'm mentioning this at all is because the caliber of the rest of the band is pretty noteworthy. When you get people like Bob Wagner, Swale's Amanda Gustafson and Jeremy Fredericks, Heloise and the Savoir Faire's Rob O' Dea and That Toga Band's Tyler Minetti all on the same stage, cool stuff is bound to happen. Plus, we've got a pair of killer backing dancer/vocalists in Trena Isley and Myesha Gosselin. Next to those cats, my only real qualification for being in the group are my raven tresses. 

Q: Hold on a sec. O' Dea is bald, and Fredericks ain't a redhead.

A: That's not really a question, but I'll enlighten you anyway. Both O'Dea and Fredericks were gingers as kids. We have photographic proof. Once a ginger, always a ginger.

Q: Fair enough. So are you guys just doing Willie Nelson and Rick Astley covers?

A: Not at all! We actually have a set of about 12 original tunes, written by gingers, for gingers. Some titles include "Everybody Knows the Beach Fucking Sucks," "Does the Carpet Match the Drapes," "Little Red Haired Girl," "Fetish" and "Sunblock Cockblock." We'll also probably toss in a love song or three to satisfy Cupid's bloodlust.

Q: Hey, Neko Case is a redhead, right?

A: Sigh …

Q: This is wacky. Who's dumb idea was this?

A: That's open to debate. Though the specific origins are unclear, what is known is that the idea developed between Bob Wagner and myself over way too many beers at Radio Bean last fall. Max Schwartz, late of the Jazz Guys, is rumored to have been an instigator as well. I maintain it was all Bob's fault, er, idea.

Q: $1000 question: Are you guys any good?

A: We'll see. At the very least, it'll be an interesting show. Plus, there is the very real possibility that this gig will be our collective undoing in Burlington. Do you really want to miss that? 

Q: Last question: What is the preferred nomenclature here? I mean, is it OK to use the term "ginger"?

A: Great question. Let's ask Tim Minchin:

The ever-industrious lads at Angioplasty Media continue to expand their growing empire of awesome with the announcement that they are now getting into the label biz. Their first project is the latest from local indie duo Parmaga — whose tumblr page is pretty hilarious — the Ryan Power-produced Ghost Pops EP. The EP hits shelves on 3/18. In the meantime, here's a sweet little pre-released cut from the disc, "Plenty Hands" that you can download for free at the band's website. Enjoy!

Plenty Hands

Note to self: don't have dinner at Bob Wagner's house — or, for that matter, mess around with his, erm, "lovely" daughter. 

Nothing rewards the tireless labors of love put forth by struggling musicians like subjecting their deeply personal art to the rigors of competition. Or in other words, the reader poll. For how else would one divine which band is "the best" in any given field from among the flood of musicians vying for our auditory headspace? Aside from, you know, actually listening to them, of course. But I digress.

Our friends over at the Deli New England have just such a reader poll on their website, designed to figger out, once-and-for-all-or-at-least-until-the-next-poll, just who, exactly, is the "Best Emerging New England Artist." The poll, which closes today, comprises a lengthy list of Yankee bands both relatively unknown and of wider acclaim. It also includes a fair number of VT acts: Villanelles, Rough Francis, Blue Button, Spirit Animal and Butterfly Starpower, among others.

Reader polls, generally speaking, are harmless enough. They don't really mean all that much beyond the victorious band being able to pad their press sheet with some snappy accolade. It's like high school superlatives for grownups. If Blue Button or Villanelles aren't named "Most Likely to Succeed" or "Most Likely to Marry Their High School Sweetheart," I doubt Jason Cooley or Tristan Baribeau will lose much sleep over it. (Eric Olsen on the other hand …)

My only real problem with this kind of electoral folly is that it tends to reflect less how a band is perceived by the local listening public at large than said band's campaigning prowess. For example, the leading vote-getters of DeliNE's current poll are Brothers McCann, a Boston-based roots-pop outfit with VT ties (they'll be at Red Square this Friday), and the Wandas, also Boston-based. As of this writing, the groups have tallied 1044 and 940 votes, respectively. Or, a whopping 46% of the total votes cast. The next closest band is Wally Sickert and the Army of Broken Toys (great name), followed closely by our own Blue Button, with 449 (10%) and 395 (9%) votes, respectively.

Are the McCanns and Wandas really that much more beloved in New England than the other nominated acts? Probably not. But they might be savvier than most. Both groups have links to the voting site prominently displayed on their web pages and have pimped the contest via other social media outlets (Facebook, Twitter, etc.), making it easier for their fans to stuff the ballot box. In other words, they were more effective at motivating their bases than their peers. I don't mean to take anything away from whichever band wins — they're both polished acts, and a crafty marketing sense is important for working bands — but it seems a rather hollow victory when the results feel predicated less on sheer musical ability than PR acumen.  

Rough Francis recently gave the folks at Fuel.TV a quickie tour of Burlington, highlighting their favorite haunts in and around the Queen City for a show called "Green Label Experience." Among the destinations were Nectar's, Manhattan Pizza, Radio Bean and, no surprise here, the Monkey House. Word is the band has a new release in the works that they hope to unveil this spring. In the meantime, here are the brothers Hackney getting all Lonely Planet, Burlington-style.

The Vacant Lots are scoring some love around the Interwebs on the strength of their newly released Confusion 7-inch. I suppose that'll happen when you spend the summer touring with Sonic Boom's Spectrum, and then sign to a killer label (Mexican Summer). 

Following a Pitchfork Forkcast blurb earlier this month, today Pitchfork's sister site Altered Zones dug a bit deeper with some high praise for the local psych-duo as well as an MP3 of the vinyl single's B-Side, "Cadillac." Check it out. 

If you've read this week's edition, you know I'm rather enamored with the debut offering from Rutland's Split Tongue Crow. Essentially a revived version of late Queen City outfit Will — minus Connor McQuade, plus vocalist Cara White — STC picks up where that band left off a few years ago, boasting clean, twangy hooks and gorgeous vocal harmonies. STC are touch more subdued, veering more toward melancholy indie-folk than their rowdier alt-country predecessor. But they are also far more polished and refined. I dig it.

The band has a string of loccal dates coming up, starting with this Saturday's gig at the Shelburne Steakhouse and Saloon. (Yes, really.) In the meantime, here's a clip of Split Tongue Crow's "Horizons," from their newly released self-titled debut. Enjoy.