Posted By Dan Bolles on Wed, Nov 16, 2016 at 4:25 PM

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Courtesy of Stephanie Bertoni

Molson the Dog

If you've been by the top block of the Church Street Marketplace in Burlington recently, it's likely that you've encountered the sweet, fuzzy phenomenon that is Molson the Dog. And he probably made your day, because OHMIGOD, LOOK HOW FREAKING ADORABLE HE IS! WHOSAGOODBOY?!

Ahem…

Like the statue of Big Joe Burrell —  only much cuter and, despite his sleepy demeanor, not a statue — Molson has become a top-block fixture. So much so that a reader who works nearby recently alerted Seven Days to his all-consuming cuteness and suggested we write about him. Being the dedicated, hard-nosed journalists that we are, how could we refuse?

In the three months since his people, Annette Didrickson and Ric Crossman, opened the Vintage Photography Emporium on the corner of Church and Pearl streets, you can find Molson on the street in front of the shop almost every day. He's usually unattended and snoozing, schmoozing or generally soaking up the adoration of nearly anyone who happens by, because I JUST WANNA SMOOSH YOUR FACE, MOLSON!

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Posted By Dan Bolles on Mon, Nov 14, 2016 at 12:55 PM

It's Monday, which means it's time for your weekly dose of locavore levity: the Joke of the Week! This week's joke comes from South Burlington's Owen Foley. Take it away, Owen …

I'm thinking about opening a business that serves two separate needs. Maybe a laundromat that's also a bar, or a bookstore that's also a bar, or a restaurant that's also a truck. Even my food truck is going to serve fusion cuisine. I'm thinking Vietnamese and Italian food. Gonna call it Pho-gettaboutit.

About that joke

Says Foley: This joke is simple word play, it is dumb but I love it so much. The smart, sophisticated, and tremendously good looking audiences of Burlington also seem to enjoy it.

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Posted By Dan Bolles on Mon, Nov 7, 2016 at 9:49 AM

It's Monday, which means it's time for your weekly dose of locavore levity: the Joke of the Week! This week's joke comes from Burlington's Tim Bridge. Take it away, Tim …

I was dumped recently. And it sucks being broken up with. It does. It only sucks more when you're sitting on a couch, being broken up with, and multiple times in the conversation you have the thought, That's a good point.

No one wants to be broken up with. I feel like the best case scenario is being able to say, "Screw it, man, that girl was crazy." Or, "Who cares, girl. That guy was an asshole."

No one wants to be like, "Nah, this makes sense for you."

About that joke

Says Bridge: Writing jokes about how sad you feel is a pretty great way to get over how sad you feel.

I was broken up with. It made a comical amount of sense when it was explained why I was being broken up with. So I made it into a joke in order to convince myself that everything was going to be okay, which it totally, definitely, 100%, completely is.

I'm fine.

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Posted By Dan Bolles on Mon, Oct 31, 2016 at 9:50 AM

It's Monday, which means it's time for your weekly dose of locavore levity: the Joke of the Week! This week's joke comes from Burlington's Tarzan Jenkins. Take it away, Tarzan …

My eight-year-old son says to me, "Dad, I've been thinking … not all children should have birthdays."

And I'm like, "What?!"

He says," I don't think all kids should have birthdays. Some kids should have C-section days."

And I'm like,"What?!!!"

He says,"It's still a celebration, just the cake comes pre-cut down the middle."

I said,"Cut it out, boy!"

He said,"Exactly dad, exactly."

About that joke

Says Jenkins: "The wisdom of children is precious. The logic of children is hilarious!"

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Posted By Dan Bolles on Fri, Oct 28, 2016 at 8:36 AM

In celebration of the annual Vermont's Funniest Comedian competition, which runs Wednesday through Friday, October 26 through 28, at the Vermont Comedy Club in Burlington, all this week we're posting a daily version of our weekly Joke of the Week feature. Today's dose of local hilarity comes to us from Montpelier's Kathleen Kanz. Take it away, Kathleen …

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Posted By Dan Bolles on Thu, Oct 27, 2016 at 12:08 PM

In celebration of the annual Vermont's Funniest Comedian Competition, which runs Wednesday through Friday, October 26 through 28, at the Vermont Comedy Club in Burlington, all this week we're posting a daily version of our weekly Joke of the Week feature. Today's dose of local hilarity comes to us from East Orange's Bitsy Biron. Take it away, Bitsy …

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Posted By Dan Bolles on Wed, Oct 26, 2016 at 12:35 PM

In celebration of the annual Vermont's Funniest Comedian Competition, which runs Wednesday through Friday, October 26 through 28, at the Vermont Comedy Club in Burlington, all this week we're posting a daily version of our weekly Joke of the Week feature. Today's dose of local hilarity comes to us from Burlington's Paul Church. Take it away, Paul …

Tags: Beth Norton , Image , Web Only

Posted By Dan Bolles on Tue, Oct 25, 2016 at 1:05 PM

In celebration of the annual Vermont's Funniest Comedian Competition, which runs Wednesday through Friday, October 26 through 28, at the Vermont Comedy Club in Burlington, all this week we're posting a daily version of our ongoing Joke of the Week feature. Today's dose of local hilarity comes to us from Winooski's Beth Norton. Take it away, Beth …

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Posted By Dan Bolles on Mon, Oct 24, 2016 at 6:00 AM

It's Monday, which means it's time for your weekly dose of locavore levity: the Joke of the Week! But guess what? In celebration of the annual Vermont's Funniest Comedian Competition, which runs Wednesday through Friday, October 26 through 28, at the Vermont Comedy Club in Burlington, we'll be posting a new joke every day this week. Kicking off our week of local hilarity is Burlington's Annie Russell. Take it away, Annie…

Tags: Annie Russell , jokes , humor , standup , Image , Web Only

Posted By Dan Bolles on Sat, Aug 20, 2016 at 8:00 AM

Brett Rapkin

Cover, 'Spaceman: Baseball Odyssey'

In reporting this week's cover story on former Red Sox pitcher turned gubernatorial hopeful Bill Lee, I uncovered far more on the Spaceman than could have fit in three cover stories. What follows are some of the anecdotes that, for one reason or another, didn't make the final cut.  

Boston Globe columnist Bob Ryan on what Lee's career could have been had Yankees third baseman Graig Nettles not ruined the Spaceman's shoulder in a 1976 brawl:

“This is what Lee could have been if doesn’t get hurt and he continued on that path,” said Ryan. “Mark Buehrle. They’re the same pitcher.”
Buehrle isn’t exactly a sexy name, and his unassuming demeanor is far cry from the Spaceman's. But it’s nonetheless high praise. Buehrle was a five-time all star who won 214 games over his 16-year career. He was as durable as they come, an innings eater who topped 200 innings in all but his first and final seasons — he finished the 2015 season, his last, with 198.2 innings pitched. Buehrle was one the better lefties of his generation and among the league's most dependable starters, period.

Tags: Bill Lee , Spaceman , Bob Ryan , Boston Red Sox , Vermont governor , Image , Video , Web Only